ARGUS.

I could see pilseners being the next big craft brew fad. The problem is, a genuinely good lager takes at least twice as long to brew as an ale, which is a big part of why IPAs took off in popularity. A lager is a bigger time investment for the brewery. But if you play up the scarcity of your new ultra-rare premium…

Ah, I see we speak the same mother tongue.

Specifically, adjunct lager, A/K/A that macrobrewed effluvia where the grain is cut with corn or rice to make it both cheaper and flavorless.

Yeah, I should specify that I don't think she's that bad an actor - I didn't watch Anaconda so many times for Ice Cube - but that people shouldn't overlook Out Of Sight just because it's "a Jennifer Lopez movie."

That explains the snowman's lopsided cocky grin and sparkling eyes.

What about Bender Keaton?
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I just wanted to play, too.

It's surprisingly great. You just have to pretend Jennifer Lopez is a real actor.

THOR: "True dat."
Everything stares awkwardly.
THOR: "Do the mortals not say true dat anymore? … Curse that Darcy."

"Hi, I'm Sigourney Weaver and I'd like to tell you about sea life."

I love that word "bio-organics." Very Stan Lee.

Take his out, clean it thoroughly, switch it from the Evil setting to Good, and give it to Carrie.

UGH. I DON'T WANT THOSE PEOPLE.

…and is now tougher than ever, maybe with a badass bionic arm or something, just for shits and giggles.

The best character name since Zap Rowsdower.

Yep, Brie Larson. Out of left field, but Marvel's earned my trust in regards to casting.

Or how 'bout a good old-fashioned comics super team-up? Archie, Jessica Alba as Sue Storm, both Daredevils, Matt Ryan's John Constantine… I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting. Does Halle Berry's Storm wig count?

We, as a society, need to have a discussion about dyeing actors' hair distractingly obvious unnatural colors. I think it would be a nice change of pace from politics and war crimes.

Built-in nostalgia; pre-existing, tested characters and situations; possibility of a shared universe. I'm kinda surprised they haven't already done this.

I am not up to the task of discovering The New Dawn Wells. But I'll give you Paul F. Tompkins as Thurston Howell III. (After Bill Murray turns it down.)