Tommy Wiseau looks like he's wearing a Party City latex mask of himself.

I also feel like the movie needs to explain the name "Captain Marvel" as something that makes sense in-universe. The word Marvel needs a value within the MCU that Carol earns, and that justifies a name that sounds like it came from a Republic serial. A space martyr who demonstrated that not all aliens are a threat…

That concept would also nicely set the table for a Kamala TV series, if the film and TV divisions could get on the same page.

I'd be annoyed too, especially at seeing another white Marvel superhero with a black sidekick/best friend scenario. In this case, though, I think it's the only way we'd get Monica at all. But I'll be very happen to be proven wrong about that.

I know what you mean, but in my mind Carol's the lead and everything is from her perspective as the human. I think it's important to see her as a capable heroic person before she gets powers. (And most superheroes in general, as a rule. I think that's why origin stories click for audiences. Does what you are change…

Okay, here's what I would do, since you asked so politely: I'd make like it was a Mahr-Vell movie for the first two acts, with Carol in the role of strong, independent co-star, then in the third act Mahr-Vell sacrifices himself and Carol gets his powers in the most streamlined way possible. Imagine the first Thor…

I fully expect Monica to be there, but in the capacity of Carol's sassy frenemy.

Say what you will about Guillermo's movies - I love the man but his work is very hit or miss to me - but I doubt anybody takes more joy in their work.

"Pussy tape" sounds… uncomfortable.

A humorless David Goyer script? Imagine that.

The next Underworld movie will, however, feature Wesley Snipes as a dark-glasses-wearing, half-vampire monster-hunter named Dirk "The Edge" Cleaver.

Hellboy 3 will just have to be animated, which is a better medium for the Mignolaverse, anyway. Get Tad Stones and everybody from the two animated movies to complete the trilogy on the cheap.

He humbly forgot to mention that his neighbor fell out of the tree in the first place because he was distracted by Hamm's handsomeness. What a swell guy.

Zaftig is a beautiful word. Basically the opposite of MILF.

Yeah, I loved the way Quantum pickup up from the end of Casino Royale and was disappointed that level of continuity didn't stick. The Bond films have always been more anthology than sequels, but movie audiences are much more accepting of serialization these days. (Plus it's a great way to sell copies of the last movie…

Closing quip as Bond beds a zaftig MILF: "And I thought Boston had a Big Dig."

That comment is just one esoteric history reference away from a Dennis Miller joke, cha cha.

He's replacing Rutger Hauer in the new Bladerunner.

Bond's identity is outed as a undercover operative, so they send out a bunch of agents all claiming to be James Bond to approach the mission from various angles. The movie makes zero sense and is rarely funny, but I appreciate the psychedelic zaniness and schizophrenic style (from multiple clashing directors who…

Bond movies are like municipal bridge construction projects: hugely complex planning, labor intensive, takes years, inevitably going over budget and behind schedule, and the average person takes the finished project for granted and nitpicks every decision.