That's good. I'd hate to see such a finely crafted dick joke disappear into the ether. I devoted a solid five, maybe ten seconds of my life to it.

I agree completely. Telling an interesting, nuanced story is way more important than trying not to contradict decades worth of already contradictory "canon." Batman doesn't kill simply because it makes for conflict and better stories. Any other explanation is just in-universe justification and will vary depending on…

Robert Redford as Hal Jordan and Paul Newman as Oliver Queen in a '70s buddy cop adaptation of Denny O'Neil and Neal Adams' Green Lantern/Green Arrow comics.

It croaks.

I could swear I made a whiskey dick/Viagra joke here last night. Where'd it go? Am I snarking in my sleep?

Eh, if My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 somehow won this weekend's box office it would be worth it. And then WB fires Snyder and replaces him with Nia Vardalos?

That kind of categorical statement makes no sense for someone like Captain America who doesn't have godlike powers. Superman can make that pledge and keep it, but Cap can truthfully only say he would never kill anyone if there's any alternative.

I'd happily pay to see a JLA movie where Paul Rudd played every role, but only if Zatanna has a large part.

Don't miss next month's thrilling issue of Detective Comics as Batman waits in line at the Post Office! Who the hell still uses money orders? This is the 21st goddamn century the Dark Knight mutters to himself. I've gotta get to the pharmacy before they close for lunch…

That was just the handful of Viagra he pops before every "action scene." He's a heavy drinker, but has a reputation to uphold.

What the hell is "a good villain," Clark?

It was something like four months before principal photography, enough time for the new director and Paul Rudd to do another pass on the script. Of course, Ant-Man was a much *ahem* smaller movie than Justice League.

You may be onto something there, as much as I don't want to admit it…

Comics and "geek culture" in general have come so far into the mainstream the last decade or so and Zack Snyder is trying to push us back info our dungeons and parent's basements.

You can't apply that logic to superheroes. The laws of physics and probability barely count. If Batman refuses to kill The Joker, the one person he'd be most justified - and desperately wants - to kill, then he won't purposely kill anyone.

Making fun of him has proven to be the only way to get under his sprayed-on orange skin. Make a well-reasoned indictment of his proposed policies? He shrugs it off with a smirk. But claim that he has small hands and he goes berserk. Taking him seriously gets us nowhere. Pettiness undermines his power.

An understated, overlooked national treasure. Independence Day is downright charming, like a Frank Capra picture compared to Bay and Snyder.

Michael Bay calls you bro, Zack Snyder calls you dude. Michael Bay drinks redbull and vodka, Zack Snyder smokes a beer bong. The differences are subtle, and ultimately irrelevant.

"Rubber bullets."

But Captain America doesn't have a boner when he does it, even when he's shooting Nazis. Batfleck, though…