Microscopic!?! Who do you think you are?!?

* pours two shots of bourbon, slides one to Schmoker *

The one I made out of styrofoam and latex looks a lot better. What?!? Why are you looking at me like that?!? Don't make it weird! You're the one who has problems, Jack!

Until there is a fourth season of United States of Tara , Toni Collette is dead to me..

The AV Club egg my house on a daily basis, so I don't take their recommendations very seriously.

STOP YELLING AT ME!!! YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELINGS!!!

STOP PUTTING OUT SPOILERS FOR A SHOW I'M NEVER GOING TO WATCH!!!

I'm pretty sure the other kids don't like you now, so drink up, slugger!

Fair point. I am just irrationally biased against the church, I don't think he'll bring about any kind of real change. His reign as Pope reeks of a PR move to try and bring people back into the fold.

True, but to me it's like having a piece of dogshit gold plated. Sure, now it's shiny and pretty, but underneath the gold plating, it's still the same 'ol dogshit.

* Biff Tannen voice *

I don't doubt Clinton could get more done, but only because she wouldn't have that much of a problem with selling out her base for monied interests.

I've been avoiding political news lately because it just angries up my blood too much, and turns me into a mean-spirited asshole. I limit myself to talk radio in the car, which usuall doesn't amount to more than a half hour a day. I've heard talk of Clinton possibly coming under indictment for her emails, and feel a…

One of my favorites was in the Mad Magazine parody of the show, David Banner was sitting on the can in a public restroom and " Hulked out " because there was no toilet paper on the roll.

This week's episode was brutal. Her husband's song was crazy mean.

THE ROCK!
* drops " the people's elbow " on MisterSplendiferous *

I saw both Airplane! movies back to back as a kid at a drive-in. I'll stand by the first one, but the second one doesn't hold up well.

He should have left his final decision about the show on a post-it….

Thanks for the heads up. I probably would have wasted a lot of time of time on it before turning it off.

* hums Jaws theme *