I ended up grabbing a drink with one of the girls after she got off her shift and I needed some fresh air. She was thrilled. I mean, absolutely giddy.  The fact that a man (not wearing a tank top!) bought her a sazerac while she was fully clothed was obviously a pretty rare occasion, and beyond depressing.

It was pretty bad. I eventually realized that the desire to go to a trashy club because it was "hilarious" was a pretty thin euphemism for "I am going to pay for sex right now, and I'd prefer not to spend a lot."

It was very icky. After the second night I was trying to convince the group to go to actual bars to maybe meet actual women, and they looked at me like I was running over their puppies while dividing by zero.

I don't even have a S.O. , just a profound moral hangover. Especially regarding the New Orleans leg of the trip, where strippers are really "strippers."  We ate one sit-down meal in 4 days, which was just a drug-fueled blur spent either on Bourbon street or at the casino. I'm not assuming that anyone was doing…

So Dik,  I spent the last 10 days with large groups of men in Las Vegas and then New Orleans. How many chaste Netflix cuddling nights do you think it'll take before I can forgive myself and my gender for the concept of strippers?

I agree, yet blithering geniuses are a tad hard to come by in red states with under 4 million total people.

Well then I'll see myself the FO. (Un)fortunately, none of the blithering idiots I date have asked me to pose for pictures wearing their abnormally nostalgic clothes.

@avclub-af95af2627f837175b14bd72fce0e2ba:disqus I thought it was pretty transubstantial

I always assumed it was more of a necessity, since no one really wants to go out after working a 100 hour week.

Like all things early '90s, heroin is just as back as snap bracelets and high waisted jorts.

You forgot the wink at the end.

The most natural way for me has always been thumb out, index finger sort of half folded-over.  Anything else would require too much non-instinctual finger adjustment to accurately convey the urgency of my feelings.

Awesome. My friends and I call that "girl-finger." About 95% of the women I've met flip people off by making a wee little fist and then delicately extending the middle finger. So adorable.

According to my napkin, the $765m concussion settlement paid to 4500ish players means the exchange rate is:

My alma mater allegedly likes to party (we do), yet SI can't find their ass with both hands. All is well.

I recently said "You just passed on a golden ticket, Charlie Suck-it." to someone, which is not so much a meme as a direct quotation of some Ohioan internet Hat-Lady.

Thriller. Vincent Price slays me.

Ah. Stubborn, a little self-destructive, and I'm assuming massive issues with authority.  We are kin, you and I.

Being so hungover that I call in sick, and knowing full well there will be no reprecussions as my boss is completely reliant on me to keep earning his exorbitant salary in this terrifying modern age.

*does this:http://www.google.com/imgre…