Thank youuuu. It tastes like absolute ass. Worse than ass, in some cases.

This mirrors my controversial stance on beards.

Ja Rule. Loudly and in appropriate situations.

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus Fucking around with leveraged NatGas ETNs was more than enough to break me of my hyper-management tendencies. Sorta like letting a dumb kid touch a hot stove.

@Dikachu:disqus I've recently gotten "Greek" and "Mexican" when the answer is actually "Took a Nap Outside."

They're the folky-bluegrassy band that I assume wishes more harm on Mumford & Sons than just about anyone in the world.

Ha ha Burl, I believe she teaches typing?

And Shinola unearthed "I Fell in Love Today," which is my personal favorite Ween song of this stripe.

Tell me about it. After the third dream in about a 12 day period I started smoking again after quitting for eight months.

Also: great excuse to drink during breakfast.

For a few months I had a recurring dream wherein I was lying awake in a hospital bed in the middle of the night, attached to a heart monitor. As my pulse started to slow I would stare at the door handle in the hopes of some one coming to visit or see what was wrong. No one ever came, and I would wake up right as I…

Put duct tape over the part of the door that clicks into the frame. Much less noticeable.

"Queen of Hearts" - Fucked Up, and "Like a Friend" - Pulp.

@avclub-011d0b4fe6835bb3d37ef4e0ea713de6:disqus No beastly assumptions on my part. I assumed it was standard that if you are going the plainly superficial route you have to be very clever. Or so crass as to start an argument.
I don't know anyone that employs the half-assed Hallmark card approach.

In my state there was no law against marital rape until 1993.

@avclub-011d0b4fe6835bb3d37ef4e0ea713de6:disqus The fact that you've apparently had some guy try "You're really beautiful" as an opener is for some reason very very funny to me.

I also feel compelled to note that the two are not mutually exclusive.

4: Head to the bar.
5-7: Slightly more charming.
8: Everyone in here can get it.
9-11: Consider marriage to the cutest bartender or waitress.
12: Drunk dialing whilst smoking. 
13-?: Eye-bangin' the one equally drunk straggler in-between bites of falafel.

That's actually becoming less of an issue most places on the strip as of late (R.I.P Dirty's), but yea, especially on game day the wall can get pretty gross.

Jeans and a PEARL SNAP. Sleeves lightly rolled so one's throwing/flipping arm is not constricted.