@avclub-2d31cb28609a0ccb044e798fe73c023a:disqus  "nice to care about something that he has no real stake in or say over"  - this is exactly why I'm over it five minutes after the final whistle. It's a bunch of 18-22 year old guys that were convinced to attend my alma mater by assistant coach X for Y reason. Not going…

@avclub-0c9de7fbac44fdcea080c61e55772199:disqus Ah. I forget that people live in places where cool things happen from time to time.

@avclub-22eda830d1051274a2581d6466c06e6c:disqus I don't know if I would even shake Wayne's hand at this point. These days most of his time is apparently spent scumbagging his way around young women in Oklahoma City.

Knowing that someone in the room is absolutely prepared to shoot me in the head would be quite unnerving, now that I think about it.

Yea I've never understood the people who go out of their way to bother a celebrity at an obviously inappropriate time.  How did you run into Leonardo DiCaprio?

Oh that's definitely happened to me a few times. I ended up sitting next to a retired baseball player at an O'Hare bar, and when I replied to his "You probably want a picture, huh?" with a "Nah, it's cool." he got all huffy. Pretty funny actually.

I've had to ask, politely, to be removed from an email chain that consists almost entirely of highlight videos for potential recruits (read: 17 year-olds).

Agreed. When I turned 13 I decided that losing my virginity would be my big "to do" going forward. Lost it at 15 to an older girl that had a whole heap of issues, and from then on I essentially kept my social life and my sex life completely separate. So in the last 11 years I've had maybe 3.5 "healthy" sexual…

Really, if a woman I didn't know sent me an intentionally terrible joke followed by "hardy har har," I'd probably end up asking her on a first date to a wedding on Valentine's day weekend and give her a baby name book.

Completely forgot it was a holiday weekend until now sooo drinking more than usual I suppose?

@avclub-323ca7b091beb1b26cc7a2612f1475d5:disqus  Seersucker suit and a straw pork pie, I assume?

I truly don't get the emotional attachment. I played football and I like to watch football, but mostly  as an excuse to, drink, socialize and eat. I have quite a few friends that are mystified that I don't get upset when "we" lose.

FAMOUS PERSON YOU WOULD BE TOO NERVOUS TO ACTUALLY MEET

Right? I never will understand that one. Frosted tip-havin' butthole. Ruined all the Charlie Conway credit that Joshua Jackson had earned. Katie Holmes over Busy Phillips? Come on. Fuck that guy.

Well I was going to say something about the Great Pit of Carkoon, then I got embarrassed that I knew what that was, then I remembered what website this is, and then 4 people made sarlacc jokes.

This doesn't even touch Paul F. Tompkins at the end of a sketch show

[@Gjetostbuster:disqus pauses, reconsiders, looks back over his shoulder longingly at @avclub-fe858281188f10005605ea7b1dd0bf7f:disqus ]

Christmas in Hollis = Sideshow Bob and Rake

I'm not exactly a roadie for Mystik Spiral, @avclub-f7f8eb12e0f61a9321597157c0d61791:disqus

I'm still under 750 comments from 2008 - today. I have no idea what you people actually do all day.