As long as it doesn't end in opposable….chums?  Aw, dammit.

Oh come on guys. If this is a passable AV Club pun thread then Ambergris Meredith.

For the first time ever, I wholeheartedly second this Amazon  @repostedcustomerreviews:disqus

I somehow have almost no knowledge of the source material and refuse to look into it, because I want to be delighted by space raccoons and trees having weighty conversations about saving the galaxy.   The only reason I'm aware of that much is due to the Newswire.

Mmmmm. When I first got there I was dismayed to learn that beer was vastly more expensive than in the states. Then I realized that rum was cheaper than beer and then I was asleep before midnight every single night of the trip.

Actually I know some pretty talented designers/artists/screenprinters. I may just let them have free reign and see what happens. If it turns out poorly, I'll mail them to @avclub-d019eb089e65903455cc52308f00b997:disqus for the Madame Pele treatment

I have no personal effects whatsoever in my office. Only relevant books and office supplies.  This is because:  A) I compartmentalize, since being reminded of my actual life while at work is existentially depressing B) it's part of my ongoing quest to hide my secret identity from my hyper-conservative/boring coworkers…

LeBron signed a $90m sponsorship deal with Nike in 2003, while I was busy trying to figure out how to rock a catholic school uniform in the most rebellious way possible.

The purchaser also did not include a gift receipt, which I feel is a deliberate message.  They're very comfortable, and somehow were the right size despite Fred Perrys running half a size large and this person not knowing what I wore normally.

I think that I hate "The Dolphin's Cry" by Live so, so much that I derive pleasure from my hatred, and therefore kinda enjoy it.

Like this:

That is suspicious. 'Round these parts I don't even hear y'all that much, unless it's in a pejorative context i.e. "fuck all y'all."

Does anybody? Glen Matlock >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Sid

I've always referred to short-sleeved button downs as nerd jerseys. They just don't look right without a blackberry holstered on a pair of dockers.

Someone gave me white slip-ons as a graduation gift. Sooo do I burn them or are they now just really expensive house shoes?

Among other notable/lingering football injuries I had a face-mask trampstamp bruise for about three weeks in high school.

Tuna steak instructions: 1) Sear on both sides 2) EAT THAT SHIT UP

Either a "god-FUCKING DAMMIT" or in polite company, a stone faced "I'm fine, it's OK" as my pain is instantly transmogrified into rage.

Is saying the Sex Pistols too obvious and hacky?

Goddamn you and your wholesale scotch. As if this red state bullshit already didn't have enough downsides.