@avclub-011d0b4fe6835bb3d37ef4e0ea713de6:disqus I may or may not have included "The Background" and "God of Wine" on a wildly emo CD I burned for someone in seventh grade. If I heard either of those songs today I would have to leave the room due to sheer embarrassment.

It's becoming disruptive. I've gradually slid from "Why I am I so emotionally invested in this redheaded maid learning how to type?" to "I will challenge Kit Harrington to a dual should we cross paths."

Recently had an argument about this that ended with watching us the whole damn movie.  He actually doesn't start chomping the cigar until AFTER he one-hits the alien that  is strong enough to later kill nine people mid-vivisection.

Not really on topic or whatever, but it needs to be said somewhere: anyone lucky enough to catch ZMF live tweeting The Dark Knight Rises and "opening the lines up" for callers now knows that he flew directly into the sun and devoured it. 

A great deal of people treat him as a Serious Artist Worthy of Reflection. I really do like hip-hop, but articles like this (by Steve Hyden, no less) make me want to drink on my couch and stare blankly at the ceiling. 
http://www.grantland.com/st…

I'm guessing more like $199.95

Shit gets me sometimes too. I then immediately regret it while I wait an eternity to get everything tailored. Apparently every other man under 6 feet JosA sells clothes to is either 14 or shaped like a water balloon.

I was in the building when this: http://www.thelostogle.com/…  happened, and didn't hear about it until I made the two hour drive home. It barely registered in the local news, and that guy suffered zero political repercussions for both the offense and his equally offensive and glib dismissal. I halfheartedly look for…

Am I the only person that thinks without the fatwa he would be considered closer to blah-di-blah?

Stop making light of the decapitation of AIDS patients.

That would certainly be the logical, responsible move. Yet there is more than a slight chance that the poor guy would be stuck honking on the street due to my poor impulse control.

I only listen occasionally, but she absolutely holds the thing together. Without June it would be an hour of people shouting some variation of THIS? WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS CRAZE-BALLS!

@avclub-1b8f6a3ae0bbd4c39911fb096055fc66:disqus Please, call him Gary.

FINE. I'll go have eyes-rolling-back, chest-clawing, mind-blowing sex in order to reclaim a cherished personal possession.

@avclub-84ca205fe6bc691c41c3bfe5a2820a15:disqus  I knooow I need to be an adult about it but there is a 100% chance she will be wearing them when I stop by. Despite having disruptively incompatible personalities, this woman erodes my temptation resistance abilities to Oscar Wilde levels. I may just have to shed a…

Yea, but this isn't just a business trip. Her partner was in a potentially life threatening situation for several months. Were I the cheatee, I would be beyond enraged that my partner couldn't just not fuck somebody(ies) while I was getting shot at. Can't speak for these people but in other military/cheating…

Hey @Dikachu:disqus  and present females, here's my very low-stakes problem:
What is the protocol for getting gym shorts back from someone you really don't want to see anymore? I'd normally just let them go, but I've had this pair since I was 17 and they are the most comfortable clothing item on Earth. And why do women…

Yea, none of my friends/cowokers read the AV Club or really have AV Club-aligned tastes (which is why I read/comment) but I still alter the occasional detail just in case. My very infrequent comments, while relatively benign, could probably be career limiting.

If it's been more than four hours, notify your physician.

Girls have nicer bathrooms and softer sheets anyway. Homeless or not, go back to her place.