Have you seen Kris Evans?

Yes, but…giant cock. Sometimes beggars can't be choosers.

Go away, BB-8in'.

Yes. At least Bel Ami seems insistent that most of their models be tattoo-free.

Or Bel Ami, for that matter. They've been getting beefier lately.

No, because (at least in the first few games) the main character, upon becoming an Assassin literally recites the "Assassin's Creed." Which…I can't precisely remember. Something about the dark to do something to the light…

Caucasian-looking men who are over 18 and between 5’10” and 6’1” are sought. You must be very physically fit, with muscular and defined arms.

Corn, chicken, green peppers, chili *sigh*, onions…

Your brain is the size of a chickpea.
—Crow T. Robot, 1007-Track of The Moon Beast

Golf ball? Damn thing's as big as a basketball! And just as orange!

So, are the staff writers still on vacation? Is the site closing? Are we switching to Kinja?

Its a meme. Relax.

*jots down suggestion*

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMN IT!
—Trump and/or pro wrestling fan

That's patently ridiculous.

Not that I know of, specifically. But it would be a good time to do it.

I fully look forward to the ongoing slide towards our collective Univision-driven, Kinja-fueled apocalypse on Wednesday.

So…is this the last article until Wednesday, or has the AV Club been shuttered? Or worse, imminently switching to Kinja?

Yeah, who would've thought that a guy you could easily mistake for Subway Jared's brother is a sexual deviant?

He says nothing but HOT TAKES!