You know, I was in Chicago in March, and as I was walking around the loop and the rest of downtown, I remarked to myself how empty it seemed.
Now I know why!

I would normally complain about this hardly being pertinent to this site's bailiwick, but after how badly Hughes embarrassed himself trying to grab the brass Trump ring in the previous Newswire, I think I'll give it a pass.

They mean to win Wimbledon!

I already pointed this out and no one's upvoting me!

*Casey Kasem voice*

Don't stick your dick in it. That's not one of the features.

Just use it as a raft.

Hey! Those are OUR words! You don't get to say them!

Not that way, R2. You'll be breaking down in no time.

I hope they also got the bones of the poor midget inside.

No one will ever believe you.

Tom was referring to Robert Ginty, actually.

Boys, boys! Enough of this catty back and forth.

He's retired. Tries to avoid the spotlight.

Robby Benson
Jack Burns
Andrea Martin
Dennis Hopper
Joan Cusack
Garry Shandling
Paul Reiser
Peter Cook
Junior Samples
Elayne Boosler
Adam Sandler
Barry Sobel
Garth Brooks
Bruce Mahler
Les Paul
Patrick Swayze as Gandhi
Sheryl Lee Ralph
Robert Carradine
Bruno Kirby
Griffin Dunne
Mike Nichols
Ron Reagan
Demi Moore
Gabriel Byrne
Gallagher
Robert…

Bunch of know-nothing old dinosaurs, wouldn't know talent if it bit them in the ass…

*sigh*

That kid looks like Roseanne!
—Crow T. Robot, 306-Time of The Apes

Yes. Yes it would.

They could've done that at any time. But they haven't…