Sick burn, bro.

All teens must now be played by 10-year olds!

*Chris Hansen picks up the phone, nods, puts on his coat and heads out the door*

Everything Sucks!
The A.V. Club

No, it means his next role is as a retiree.

Daniel Day-Lewis is a great actor. But…good god, method actors seem to be insufferably full of shit.

Yes. Plus other winky, fan-service nostalgia bullshit that television and film makers love to throw into reboots, relaunches and reimaginings because they think that's what fans want to see, because they'll recognize it and clap their hands like trained seals.

Gotta catch 'em all!

I don't like Spock. He's coarse and rough and irritating and gets everywhere.

This is one STD that I don't want to catch!

I know a wiener man. He owns a hot dog stand. He gives me everything. From wieners on down.
—Crow T. Robot, 111-Moon Zero Two

That was NEVER a waste. And was often the highlight of a bad film.

I'm picturing a Pink Panther Strikes Again scenario with Colbert as Clouseau and the various spies trying to kill him but accidentally killing each other in the process as Colbert remains oblivious.

*Jeff Sessions' ears prick up*

That's higher-effort snark. And more deserving, too.
Say what you want about Rick Scott, he doesn't hold a candle to Sam Fucking Brownback.

$1.07, actually.

For a state you hate, you sure come here a lot.

Har har har! Florida! Ammirite?
-low effort internet humor

CLICKS!

Serious question: Have you ever been to Florida? Or are you just going with the popular pastime of shitting on Florida that the internet has made popular?