Does this mean Alex Jones is going to become president in eight years?

Alex Jones to join PWR BTTM on tour, simultaneously cast on Bachelor in Paradise, considering joining Bill Cosby's legal defense team, will be sure to invoke Trump's name as often as possible

I hope she sings about Twins, or Indians, or some other AL Central team.

If you follow proper Purge rules, bystanders lock themselves inside.

But what about those meddling kids?

"Only a good heavily-armed nutbag with a gun can stop a bad heavily-armed nutbag with a gun."

Ted Nugent, Megyn Kelly. Alex Jones. Its a whole banquet of unpleasant people tonight on the A.V. Club! I hope the next Newswire is about a sexual assault, or Trump - or both!

I give it 3 months before he says something counter to this pledge.

*5 years now*

I'm pretty sure that's Alex Jones in the oven, rotating slowly.
His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices!

I just couldn't wait to get my hands on her swe-sweeee-sweet cans!
-unaltered quote from Alex Jones

I think it would be at the point where he starts physically assaulting people or threatening harm on himself or others.

How long until he has a complete mental break and has a full-swing manic episode, the kind where they take you away for a few days? Over/under?

Senorita Isabella Banco

I'm picturing Banks as her Moonbeam City character in her office, receiving a phone call about her mistake. Shadows of unseen Venetian blinds fall over her face…

*Banks goes back to the drawing board, licking her wounds, plotting the next big target to inaccurately heap scorn upon from out of left field*

Banks is currently working on a Charlie’s Angel’s reboot. Spielberg, meanwhile, is set to direct The Papers, co-starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep.

It's hey-ho and a frosty hello from Tom Servo - on the go, on the snowy Satellite O' Love with the Winter Sports Cavalcade!

So, it'll be like the NFL Network, propaganda 90% of the time, and occasionally there'll be a live sporting event.
Except now, the live sports will happen once every 2 years. And half of them will be curling.

These comments are all going to get deleted and paved over by Kinja in a few weeks anyways. Who cares!