"You call that a knife?!? THIS is a knife."
University of Sydney jabs at the air with a spoon

"Kowabunga, the waves on the Sea of Galilee are righteous!"
Son of God

"Hey, I resemble that remark!"
Ben Carson

"Yep."
"Yuupp"
"Mmm-hmm."

Something something, Groot's got wood.

Only if you haven't heard of "King of the Hill" or "Wait Til Your Father Gets Home".

In a related story, 80s pop group Mr. Mister plans to sue Sandler and Netflix back to the stone age.

It doesn't matter when Beck's album is apparently supposed to come out, as long as it's eligible for a "Best Album" Grammy that everyone will be shocked he wins again.

He's staying away from Toronto out of respect of his Canadian muse, Rob Ford.

"Jews on first?"

"Been there, done that!"
Gwyneth Paltrow

So you're saying she's overqualified to play the bride of Frankenstein?

Brendan Fraser smiles to himself, "I TOLD them without me it wouldn't fly…".

"They're good fuh kickin' queers head's in. Go Pats!"

I wonder if he'll remind people that on the campaign trail Trump said, “I know words. I have the best words.”, and then smile smugly into the camera as if he's made a point…

I wonder if he had to ensure hearing Feldman and his Angels sing before hearing him talk.

Let's all give him a round of applause with our normal-sized hands.

I disagree, if this isn't covfefe, what is?

Because you were listening to a Daft Punk song?

I think he got forced out of The Source due to his own stupidity…I guess he's got whatever money he gets from appearing on reality shows.