Are you talking about the surly teens who work at your local fast food place, or just the ones who hang around the place?

They can start with less E. coli outbreaks.

—Toilets everywhere

President-elect blames Idris Elba for making Russian ladies tinkle in front of him in hotel room - another Buzzfeed exclusive.

Shall we assume James Bond producers are banned from entering this contest, just in case they offer Elba the keys to the franchise after he wines, dines, and 69's them?

"I always thought so."
Bill Cosby

Martin is a New York Jets fan, with nothing to look forward to in the coming seasons, this book will be out sooner rather than later.

As it is Game of Thrones, you'd assume it would be a shower of blood. Not this time.

Comic book kids would like the Coen brothers to direct a movie about the Question.

"Been there, done that…"
Former sheriff Joe Arpaio

"Did recording "Lemonade" at any time feel like eating pussy?"

Would the object of that game be to save the cast as quickly as possible, or kill them as graphically as possible?

"Sexual harassment claims goes in, settlement goes out. Never a miscommunication. Like the tides, you can’t explain that."

And flaccid.

She should be flattered, I don't blow my wad into just any politicians' baseball cap, you know…

I plan to ejaculate into my "I'm With Her" baseball cap, as I've done every Friday for the past six months.

I don't know, but I don't think he's going to attend or perform at the inauguration. Hawkman, however, is ready, willing, and able.

So…"Uptown Girl" didn't make the cut because someone else is banging Christie Brinkley these days?

The botched abortion will be the focus of a Very Special Episode, depending on whether or not the show gets renewed, or if Planned Parenthood continues to get federal funding.

Sponsored by Tide.