Having confusing thoughts about Urkel, are we - did Jake Gyllenhaal make you do that?

To have Jay Leno in something called "Common Sense" after the fiasco that was "The Jay Leno Show" is way too meta for NBC, so I'll assume it's not going to happen.

Bret Easton Ellis and Jay McInerney are typing like mad to cash in on Spy's revival.

Zoë Kravitz needs to do a butt-nekkid Rolling Stone cover like her mother did to settle this argument; the guy who played Squabbles should be the judge.

Dogstar left that bad a taste in people's ears.

He eventually finds religion, so there's that.

He brags about all the poon he got and how big his genitals were back when he was Robin; I remember something about him banging groupies while in costume.

Jared Leto, Johnny Depp, and Keanu Reeves could be members!

Has the The A.V Club ever done a "Silly Little Show Biz Book" article on Burt Ward's "Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights"? If not, why not? It's got the kind of locker room talk that Donald Trump would find charming.

Careful what you wish for - they may let Kevin Smith direct and write an episode.

She's an Indian Denis Leary?

Preparation H also does a good job repelling sharks in a pinch.

This could be the chorus of your band's next hit:

"Goblin men make the best lovers…"
Brigitte Nielsen

I don't think things have changed that much, if some woman on Dating Naked took a shit on a staircase, I bet she wouldn't immediately be kicked off the show either.

"A woman needs a toilet to poop in like a fish needs a bicycle."
Gloria Steinem

I like to think of The Big Bang Theory as what happens when you tweak some unused Friends scripts after skimming through some copies of Wired, and then tossing in a bunch of jokes about Star Wars Star Trek, and comic books.

Modern Family is nowhere as white bread annoying as Full(er) House, thank goodness for Rico Rodriguez's juvenile machismo and Sofia Vergara's ethnicity and breasts.

And she wanted people to see how amazing her breasts looked.

No, just crotchety.