True men don't kill coyotes - they kill Canadian drug addicts who hold public office.

Rob Ford said the same thing…of course, he was on crack at the time.

Fuck Dave Navarro and that album.

I always knew he kept condoms in that utility belt.

No, that would leave too much scar tissue, according to Dani California.

Joe Louis and the people of Detroit would like to know what you are doing February 2.

And it has to be done in my aeroplane.

Give it away, give it away, give it away now?

They made eight of these goddamn movies, dignity left the scene a long time ago.

The idea of reviving Walker's character is outrageous - truly truly truly outrageous.

Yes - my attempt of extending a pun thread failed FUCKING MISERABLY!!!!

Someone over there needs to get a clue.

I thought it was because he realized that no one wants a remake of the Martin Short/Kurt Russell film "Captain Ron", no matter how gritty it would be for today's audiences.

The thought of this coming true makes me want to drink.

If it helps, I clapped.

If only he showed that wit during the Republican nomination process.

1. I'm guessing Kathie Lee and Hoda were too hung over to work, so they decided to go with Feldman.

"Ewww! When did you last use shampoo?"

I thought the women Feldman hired as part of his party-with-me-in-the-mansion-I-rented enterprise were sad and unhappy, but those angels on stage take the cake.

That's why I limit its uses to just my nostrils and occasionally my lungs when I hit the pipe.