Don't praise the baby

"Mother's spaghetti" definitely sounds like something that would be in urban dictionary

Seeing multiple reports that Glen Campbell has passed away at 81.
RIP Rhinestone Cowboy, I hope the lights are shining on you

Will Dale Gribble trade in his exterminator's hat for a MAGA one?

Upon seeing Sean Hannity's deplorable mug I really want to take a huge shit on it.

Oh no, I was wrong
The gun was loaded all along
They finally made a one eye out of me

*plays "Nearer My a God to Thee" on violin*

3 of our last 4 Presidents were created in that year

The Greatest Generation can suck my balls.
Yeah, I said it Tom Brokaw—Come at me !

Mother can help build the wall as long as Mikey doesn't have dinner with any other ladies while she's away.

Remember last year when Trump supporters said Miley would leave the country if he were elected (regardless of whether or not she said that) and that reason alone was enough to vote for Trump?

Yeah he started out as a rock DJ in Missouri. He only went political when he found out he could make more coin that way

I think they only had Miller on so they could do their "get a load of this guy" laugh

I thought it was to snag Richard Gere's extra ticket to the Opera

He slims down on the Oxy diet every few years.
Of course he may still not be able to see it.
Either through drug induced blindness or…

Sure, for the "others"

By now isn't he marrying millenials?

Drug charges? You know he's wealthy and white right?

From what I've heard Limbaugh doesn't even defend conservatism any more. In fact he says Trump becoming leader of the GOP shows that it's dead as a movement.
Of course he still supports Trump because liberals don't like him.

Now that you don't have to feed and clothe her you're the King of Savings!