I'm partial to some of the random, almost Tourette's-like name calling sprinkled throughout. When your first sentence involves bluntly calling the movie lame, it certainly sets a tone for what you're about to read.

Between that description of James Franco, the Tommy Wiseau comparison, and straight up describing how you just didn't want to write this review, this deserves to be in the Film Pan Hall of Fame, right there with Roger Ebert's North review. Bravo Iggy, bravo.

Hell, as a millennial I wholly support this, as well as the extensions you mentioned. There's nothing that infuriates me more than taking a (fellow millennial) friend to see a movie I think they'll like and then watching them look at their phones the whole damn time.

Leia looks like she's in the middle of a CIA surveillance room unsuccessfully trying to find Jason Bourne.

Now I want a Reposted Pauline Kael Review Excerpt account to become a thing.

It can sort of be like The Tree of Life.

Wow, no typos at all? It appears the Avenged Sevenfold fans are blossoming everybody. Come take a look at the wonderful foliage.

I took my first ever college midterm exam, and I only lost two hours of sleep due to fear of it last night (I also think I did pretty well on it, which I guess is important too)!

The Who - Cut My Hair
The Velvet Undergound - Here She Comes Now
The Who - Imagine a Man
William Shatner - Common People
Pearl Jam - Better Man
The Raconteurs - Pull This Blanket Off
Wings - Band on the Run
The Del Vikings - Come Go With Me
Thelonius Monk - There's Danger in Your Eyes, Cherie
FIDLAR - Drone
The White Stripes -…

Instead of Kurt Russell, this one will have Woody Allen.

Well if it's a legitimate Wookie, the body has ways of shutting it down for her.

My mother really wanted to stick Jerry Garcia in my name somewhere, which would've resulted in absolute hell. My Velvet Underground-loving father on the other hand, mercifully only wanted me to have the first name of Lou (luckily that didn't pan out either).

Actually she died in 2003 (living to 96 no less!), so one of the last things she probably saw was the invasion of Iraq, which, if there's anything to make you give up after making it 96 years…

Excusing the fact that ascribing to the "How can anyone be unhappy when they're famous?" belief is just plain ignorant and condescending, the thing that separates her from say, Kurt Cobain, is that Koenig is a journalist, one working on active investigations that could potentially have serious effects (anyone on the…

The most perfect Spongebob episode is and always will be Band Geeks, and anyone who says otherwise is going to end up with a trombone for a neck.

Do you think it's alright for Townshend to continue on with him?

The deal is you have to be in Michael Bay's Benghazi movie.

A song from that album that actually kicks a fair amount of ass (for Billy Joel at least) is The Great Wall of China. He wrote it after his brother-in-law who was also his manager embezzled a bunch of money from him, and you can just feel the anger, which is rare for a Billy Joel song.

Nah, I thought it was Great Jeb, Internet!

Didn't Great Job, Internet! cover this a while ago? I think it was back when he only had three editions of these.