Impressive. Someone found a way to make a text not look totally stupid.

Or the new national security advisor. Whatever.

That's not the whole story.

If you are of a certain age, and you bought a lot of music…

That would be the technical opposite of "working on your tan".

Judge: "Who has two thumbs, and is an excellent example?…

I remember the Vonnegut anecdote. My takeaway was that one could accomplish meaningful things and also be a deeply isolated person.

(Jon Lovitz voice)

Wearing a paper bag on his head bearing a crude Sharpie caricature of Vonnegut.

However, I can imagine it as a P. T. Anderson film.

Whereas free men and women will soon be able to enjoy participation in a robust economy based on gasoline, grain, firearms, clean water, and human captives.

I'm sure that gets mentioned somewhere every few minutes, on average.

Sometimes a proof by counterexample is elusive, and the best choice is to try to show that the original assumption implies a contradiction.

"If you ate an orange, it was like getting lost in a giant citrus mountain, man."

That is an admirably confident statement.

(Writes poetry in high school math text with ballpoint pen to the right of illustration of self bleeding from one arm, razor blade in other hand.)

Dear AV Club,

I claim to have many white friends.

The shit people are willing to buy at auction-inflated prices defies comprehension.

Based on my ability to read a person's soul at a glance that I just made up, Brian Henson is more reasonable than the Kermit puppeteer, who is either a genius, or one of those people that think they are.