Trolling for Jesus

Mmmmm… Bop.

That's fine; this Christmas I plan on pounding down a bunch of communion wafers while watching The Last Temptation of Christ and speaking in tongues.

Jeff Sessions: Were you pressured to take a settlement?

Not withstanding the old lady bailiffs, the cast of Night Court is indeed still alive, but nobody knows where any of them are.

Now this… this is what GJI should be.

He is truly the Zac Efron of kangaroos.

I wonder if Nic and Gina reminisced on the set:

And then he gave you some and the joke was on you, because that shit is nasty.

"As far back as I can remember is the beginning of this sentence."

This guy seems tense. I think he could use a joint and a handful of valium.

Hey dude, you have to hold these kids accountable. One day it's a Darth Vader costume, but the next day who knows? Maybe he shows up tomorrow with a clock.

"So what's the etiquette on boners? Do I dig a hole for it, or do I just let my freak flag fly?"

Lemmiwinks, no!

Past the age of, I would guess around 8, I have never put on a smile for a picture. Any picture of me smiling would have been captured surreptitiously. I am physically incapable of smiling on demand in a way that doesn't look entirely phony or completely insane.

For most of my life, people have been telling me to smile more. It's a little annoying to know if I had been born elsewhere I probably wouldn't have had to put up with that bullshit.

Liam Neesons sandwich is

E-gad!

Well, they couldn't very well have called it John Carpenter's Thing.

Underachiever.