This Makes Me Sad, Internet

Anybody else get the feeling that Vin Diesel is one of those types of people you know that you recognize has good qualities and you wish him well, but if you come across him in a public setting your first thought is, "Oh shit, has he seen me yet? Can I slink away unnoticed?"

In the course of one conversation he goes from being an uncle to a little brother. And the publicity tour for this movie is just getting started. By the time it's released I'm sure he'll be everything from his grandmother to his third cousin twice removed.

Oh my God, this is so so so delicious. This is the best lawsuit ever.

Betty White. She would have been a spry, foxy 70 at the time.

When dealing with interpersonal conflict in the workplace, please follow these steps:

That would certainly make a lot of sense. The first time I heard their band name I thought, "Do they know that's an Alice in Chains song?"

I loved how his forearm kept growing legs.

Man, when I was a kid this would have FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT. Now I just find it hilarious, particularly at the minute and a half mark when he's petting a small animal in his hand.

8 kids? Sounds less like "Doin' It the Best I Can" and more like "Doin' It Every Chance I Get."

Phffft, hangover cure? That's like using an epidural during childbirth. The whole idea is feeling God punish you for your sinful behavior.

[falls down stairs]

You go ahead and make my specific case about this specific change for the specific reasons I've given into an indictment of every shift in every language that has ever existed in the history of the spoken word. I think this one is stupid. I think a word has been robbed of its specific function and utility so people…

His is pointedly not a recollection, and he offers nothing in the way of details. As far as we know, he was watching Rickles on TV and thought at some point he was actually in the room with him.

Once I attended a Don Rickles performance and not once did he single me out for ridicule.

Ain't no use to argue.

Liev Shcrieber

I've been in a lot of casinos over the past few years (not for gambling, long story, not that interesting) and I look at modern "slot machines" and I don't even know what to make of them. They're totally confusing and overwhelming, which I get as being part of the strategy; what I don't get is the psychology behind…

That's a good call. I do believe I would miss his lovin' when he was gone.

That is one robust kitty. Looks like somebody might need to cut back a little on the Fancy Feast.