[holds envelope to head]

I think his quaint notions of pencil dropping and chasing around the desk is just a little too old-school for Donald "grab 'em by the pussy" Trump.

"Stand up… Good boy! Good boy!"

My mom caught me graphically "training the dragon" once. It was very embarrassing.

What are you talking about? He took her top off.

When does the cookbook for the food he was eating while he wrote it come out?

I think there needs to be a different term from "interview" for an interaction that reads like a couple of acquaintances passing each other in a hallway.

"…who cares what _______ think about _______?"

The thing I remember about Mancow aside from his Stern feud is how he was one of the chorus of post 9/11 Bush administration apologists who was incredibly glib and dismissive about waterboarding. Big deal, so they pour some water on you, how could that be torture, yadda yadda yadda. But at least he had the…

I'm sure Mancow is grateful for the reminder that he exists, as even he had probably forgotten that by now.

I think the quest for content has us very near the point where they start writing Newswires about dinners with their parents.

Don't you understand? A famous person said some things to a person they don't like that they don't really agree with. How are you not OUTRAGED?!

If you're at a party with both those people, leave that party immediately.

I will concede that Regarding Henry had an interesting, original notion that getting shot in the head and having brain damage can make you a better person.

I think you're just going to have to concede that shitting on Trump is the Family Guy of the typical AV Club demographic. Sure, you may look at it and say, "Ugh, it's just the same tiresome material retreaded over and over again, done in the most abrasive, cleverness-free style imaginable," but it's apparently got an…

I've seen some ads for this, which leads me to believe that it's at least being advertised on sports programming, since that's about the only thing I watch anymore that has commercials.

To commemorate its anniversary, Dana Carvey will disguise himself so successfully that he will never be seen or heard from again.

I otter not watch this at work, because I just can't bear the cuteness.

That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee.

"Do you have a concussion?"