Over text:
"Cum spend the night at my place, I got a mattress."
"Sure but didn't you meant to say 'come'?"
"Oh didn't I????"

The horror comedy of Scream Queens comes from the fact that it's horrifying that Ryan Murphy doesn't know anything about comedies. Or horror. Or how he got Jamie Lee Curtis to agree to this.

Legit Science Question: How satisfying is it to have sex with a blow-up doll? Seems like you could stick it in the socket of an air mattress and get the same results: Cum in your air mattress.

I don't understand why it's important to highlight her period if the tampon wasn't even oozing when he pulled it out of her? NOT REALISTIC 0/10 stars.

And he did that bit on South Park when he hosted the Emmys.

Conan and Archer have seamless chemistry. Please make Conan a reoccurring character.

No way dude. Love me some NightScream.

The movie version of 12 Monkeys is one of my favorite movies. I was curious about the TV series seeing as the last time one of my favorite movies, Fargo, turned out to make a fantastic series. This doesn't sound like it's in the same spirit (I imagine recreating a Terry Gilliam vibe on TV no less would be rather…

Helena Bonham Carter is in Dark Shadows? That movie's so forgettable there's no reason for me to really care.

Pikes for Pike! *Stab stab stab*

Whose throat do I have to slash with a boxcutter to get Rosamund Pike the Oscar?

I do champion the idea of comedic actors tackling horror because there are similar qualities in executing jokes and scares. But I giggled at the idea of Mark Duplass doing anything serious. That's on me though, I'll support this even if it is a tired plot.

Someone here didn't see This Is Where I Leave You. A movie where Tina Fey only spoke in quirks and punchlines and somehow did it wrong.

The Complainer Store, much cheaper than Whine and Barrel.

*Pushes up Complaining Glasses* After Guardians of the Galaxy proved to be so vivid and colorful, I would expect the same from a movie about a man who rides ants.

It's nice to see Gyllenhaal as a human and not that skeleton thing he was in Nightcrawler.

Jimmy Stewart? Sold.

I started my inaugural movie resolution last night: tackle genres I'm not super familiar with namely the Western and the Kung Fu film. I started with Tombstone to kick in the New Year, and that was fucking fantastic.

Raimi wasn't afraid to talk about when the studios screwed him over with Crimewave or the problems he had with Spider-Man 3 and Oz: The Great and Powerful. It's a good interview, I really respect him for being so open about everything.

Yeah I mean Sam Raimi should absolutely be released of any guilt he may have over Spider-Man 3 by this point.