He's still a clown, but now he's a creepy clown who sexually harasses young women and signs off on destroying the world for the sake of profit.

Rose Tyler was charming and likeable up until her last couple of appearances, when she attempted to destroy the universe just for some Time Lord dick. Still, I could chalk that up to bad writing. Her subsequent canonisation by a chunk of the fandom as the One True Companion has left me unable to re-watch any of her…

Under Siege has two words.

He was too awesome in too many nerd properties. IMDb can't handle his urbane charms.

So we've got Daddy Fence-Climber, Dredd/Bones/Skurge, Alex Mack and George Michael all losing out to that girl who was in that music video with her top off?

Reminder: It's Lucius Malfoy, not Luscious Malfoy.

Official Silence of the Lambs Parody

Well, ain't they a pair? Raggedy girls.

Yes, this was a shocking twist that absolutely nobody saw coming. We were all shocked - shocked! - to find Barry fucking things up in this establishment.

The "Scottish Loveknot" is actually what we call the legal status of Berwick-Upon-Tweed (which, despite popular rumour to the contrary, was not actually at war with Russia from 1853 to 1966; they just treat everybody with the same surly hostility).

… And now I'm imagining Paris Geller's reaction to being associated in any way with Marky Mark, and it is glorious contempt.

So, Kaylee and Inara joint birthday party.

I remember at my grandfather's funeral, I asked my father if he was okay. He, with typical British-guy-from-the-1950s stoicism, responded simply: "I will be."

In order: No, and yes.

You have to see things from the writers' perspective. If she didn't turn evil, she might be able to make decisions about her own fate, without even a husband to advise her. We can't have that!

I'm with you; I never eat during films, for the same noise-related reasons.

If you're going to see a shitty movie, you might as well bring along something to do while you watch it.

I think we all have a story like that. Mine was when my mother decided to watch This Life with me one evening. It was the episode where Tony Curran turns up as a gay plumber.

I thought the common take was that Anthony Hopkins is the One True Hannibal Lecter, and his work is automatically superior to hacks like Brian Cox.

Not worst, but best: Mad Max: Fury Road, a big Odeon cinema on its first Friday afternoon in England.