Are we sure Mack and Mace weren't talking about their genitals?

Blame, in no particular order: Clinton, Trump, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the Founding Fathers, the Pilgrims, Jesus, and Pope Gregory XIII.

Radcliffe is very much of the "poke it with a stick and see what happens" school of science. His curiosity outweighs his genius.

I would have believed Mack's Motorcycle Madness if only he hadn't - as Mace pointed out - gone without a helmet. Mack will break the rules to save the day, but there are lines you just don't cross.

Brett Dalton!

Incest shows up in these porn titles with uncomfortable frequency. Can we blame Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Lena Headey for making it cool?

The rampant alcoholism, the massive racism, the being a tubby middle-aged man - it was all a cover; by night he took off the fat-suit and put on the bat-suit.

8 Simple Rules was not the worst sitcom I've ever watched multiple episodes of because of an attractive female lead.

Ollie didn't get on the Queen's Gambit ten years ago and he and Laurel are only now getting married? Has he just been stringing her along to fit in more sister-banging?

Final episode, shocking twist: The niece has a split personality, and it was her doing the murders all along.

Make it about Tim trying to deal with Baby Drug Kingpin Loretta McCready as she tries to rise to the top without becoming the new Mags Bennett.

Rome. I want a new series of Vorenus and Pullo living on a goat farm with little Caesarion, and Vorenus's daughters are happy and stable and getting on with their dad, and also at some point they have to engage in a horrifically bloody swordfight with a whole bunch of dudes and just wreck them.

It's not that bad. It's not that good. It has some nice visuals. The plot really doesn't hang together. And it's not even the worst Big Franchise film in which Christopher Walken plays a major villain - that title goes to A View To A Kill.

Don Cheadle: Still holding the title of Worst Fake British Accent In History thanks to Ocean's 11.

It's actually really tragic and sordid. At the end she chokes on vomit.

I can forgive them the courtroom drama, because it gave us A) the Nietzsche gag and B) "Charlotte's" courtroom outfit, which was pure sexy murder. It's really hard to find fault with Dan.

I vote for George Takei.

Also, starting an actual War of Northern Aggression.

The real treasure was friendship all along.

I finally watched The Witch, which is an extremely well made and extremely creepy movie - the sort of thing that doesn't scare me while I'm watching it, but as soon as it was done I turned on all the lights and spent an hour playing computer games before bed, because otherwise it would have crept into my dreams and…