It's one of those things that we're happy to know it exists and is out there doing its thing, but we can't actually bring ourselves to actually support it, or take any real interest. Like the Liberal Democrat Party.

"The Internet Made Me Do It". Made you do what? Restart your computer after it froze? We've all been there, brother. Don't feel guilty.

Back in the 90s, an enemy of mine had a poster of Maria Grazia Cucinotta on his wall at school. I had no idea she also acted, but she was memorable.

Burma-shave.

"Mutated Alpha Shark" was my nickname at school.

It should have been humanely captured and taken to a no-kill insect shelter.

The first one has Bill Nighy. The second has Tony Curran. The fourth is utterly terrible, and I actually have no memory of the third, but the first two are enjoyable in parts.

You don't understand the three seashells?

Going by your name, I am forced to conclude that you are D B Cooper, uploaded to an advanced computer system and now trying to throw the rest of us off track.

I believe the technical term is "HIMYM Syndrome"; it's when the showrunners have decided on the romantic endgame back in season one, and are determined to stick with it no matter how much the characters change, grow, or just fail to have actual romantic chemistry.

D B Woodside is most notable to me for playing characters who sleep with two of my all-time biggest fictional crushes, Eliza Dushku's Faith and Lesley-Ann Brandt's Mazikeen.

I had all four of my wisdom teeth surgically removed on Saturday, so I'm now staying at my parents house while I recover from the general anaesthetic.

The organisers decided that inviting her to a large public gathering at which she would be questioned about her recent past behaviour might be a bad idea.

I remember Gauge. That lady liked to do handstands while… uh, anyway.

It's an excellent day for remarkable ladies.

I wonder if she and Robin Williams talked about their near-adjacent birthdays when they were working on Mrs Doubtfire. I mean, the film starts with a birthday party, so that would get the conversational ball rolling.

Second favourite. I'm pretty sure Sean Penn's favourite interview subject is himself.

Slip of the keyboard. I meant True Detective.

My favourite Willem Dafoe performance is Shadow of the Vampire.

Everything about that last one makes me glad it isn't a porn movie.