Bruce Willis is dead the entire time!

I watched the first season of OUaT because it was from former Lost writers and there were several winks to Lost….the house was number 108, the kid ate Apollo candy bars, etc. But the story went nowhere and I grew completely bored after season 1.

I agree with her. To make my water happy each morning I undress and let it pour over my naked body while I clean myself. The water has never complained.

That movie was entertaining silliness until the lady who says she's some old man from a million years ago showed up. Then it was just weird and annoying. Or maybe I thought it was weird and annoying and that made it so. Oh shit! My thoughts DO change things!

I hope she's reapplied her sunscreen. Nothing ruins the beautiful experience of birthing a baby in a brook like a sunburn on your perineum.

The Super Bowll is what I call my pipe.

Fifty Shades of Grey Worm

Fat Red Mast

I'd read that.

SPOILER ALERT!!

Kirby's Epic Yarn?

You only YOLO once.

Indecent Proposal 2: Incontinence Prescription

And on Facebook yesterday Last Week Tonight promised no naked cocks last night because we had enough with McConnell. Then, whoops! There's a cock riding a bicycle.

Message delivered by a maester's raven.

Here at work we have people who are still pissed the company upgraded from Office 03 to 07 a couple of years ago. Humans get set in their ways and are often only willing to change if it's forced upon them. If you can't show someone a very strong benefit to upgrading voluntarily then they have no incentive to. He's…

So this is why there is no House Clippy, whose sigil is a paperclip on a battlefield of bloody documents that keep opening in the fucking two page format no matter how many times you tell that little Clippy piece of shit to open as a single page.

It's depressing how the stupid shit said to us at that impressionable, pubescent age really sticks around. When I was 13 I was wearing a bathing suit and some boy in the neighborhood remarked that my 'bush' was so thick. I shaved the sides, but the middle stuck the suit out a bit. This was a long time before…

Deng, that's just mean.

I work for an accounting firm so giving our controller a shit ton of receipts for reimbursement is basically the same as giving her a lifetime supply of pay per view porn and chocolate. I saw her eyes sparkle with glee the last time I rolled up with my receipt for a $8.95 sandwich.