My favorite thing about Schumer's obvious joke stealing is all her friends defended her by saying she's not a thief, just an unfunny hack.

I don't know. I bet right now Schumer is watching some of the funniest comedians in the world and planning to steal all their best jokes about football.

I hope the Clinton campaign is as foolish as you are. Bernie just stole the momentum. The race will tighten big time now. The next vote is a win for Bernie of at least 20 points. Clinton is lagging and her message of pessimistic hopelessness won't turn things around. She's a loser who is 0-1 lifetime in…

That is 100% an intentional effort to downplay Sander's achievement.

Bernie is up 30 points in New Hampshire. After that people won't be voting until March 1st. She's going to have weeks were all people will remember is the candidate who is 0-1 lifetime getting beaten by 30 points. Maybe Debbie Wasserman Schultz can pull another dirty trick or two but I bet Hillary is panicked…

Your political takes are so terrible you should work for MSNBC. This is a huge loss for Clinton. She's already got loser stink on her. Next she will lose New Hampshire. She might hold on in South Carolina but she will be in huge trouble in those March 1 primaries. Bernie has the momentum. The more people…

I hope it's wheel good.

No other country could come up with something as funny as Donald Trump.

Norm MacDonald and Dave Attell are my favorite living joke writers. Dave should get more love from the people.

No one finds pee pee in their Coke to be funny.

"Rectum? Damm near killed 'em."

Nice. These guys rock. Sex and Candy is like the best song ever.

Hillary Clinton? I bet that will be funny. I've never found her to be stiff and awful when she attempts to connect with humans.

The Coen Brothers are my favorite filmmakers. Their 10th best movie is better than most people's best movie.

Heavens to Betsy, Birdy!

I can't believe the winner of Biggest Badass at the MTV Movie Awards wasn't able to use that prestigious award to advance his career. Look at what winning did for Dame Judi Dench's career.

Dennis "Daffy" Davis: Look Coach, I just don't think its a good idea to have Hernadez on this team. I mean he killed like 4 people or something. He's a serial killer.

Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.

I would die screaming "I don't like climbing things."

I find Mail Order Barbie to be a little too stabby for my tastes.