I've heard dire tales of the Bastard of Trump. He'd be a terrible king.

Iron Maiden? Excellent! *plays air guitar*

English Bob makes a good point about royalty.

If I see anyone reading this book I'm going to snatch it out of their hands and whack them with as hard as I can with it. They might be mad at first but once I explain how I have royal blood they show me the respect I deserve. Everyone knows the royal Right of Book Whackery.

To dodge the draft for the 2nd Iraq War I worked as one of Feldman's Angels.

100% pure uncut Feldman.

I was a bully and I'm going to need all you skinny nerds to line up.

The immersive experience of Goonies will be based mostly off of this line from the movie.

I think we will eventually see a Trump dick pict by the end of his campaign.

I live in a world where Donald Trump, Wiz Khalifa, and Kanye West are running for President. How is a fake show about politics going to top that?

If you haven't seen The Dirty Dozen you better get your ass squared away before Lee Marvin's ghost beats the living fuck out of you.

Like Victarion I also enjoy wearing a full suit of armor on my yacht.

Dark Knight, Hellboy, Hellboy 2, Ghost World, A History of Violence. All the best comic book movies don't feature Stan Lee. Only that bland Marvel crap.

How in the fuck did Hollywood make another movie about an old man intern that somehow looks worse than that old man intern movie with Vince Vaughn? It's astounding. I wouldn't think its possible but then Hollywood proves me wrong. I swear if someone tells me they are excited to see The Intern I'm going to vomit…

How many amazing roles has Colbert left behind? Chuck Noblet? Phil Ken Sebben? Professor Impossible? Every time he gets a new job its funnier and better. Colbert is simply evolving into his ultimate form. He has a huge stage and lots of creative control to make something great. This is Super Saiyan Colbert.

The Tick would have called them "The Black Panters" and they would have been a bunch of weirdos in black pants or something.

T.J. English wrote a great book that touched on The Black Panthers called The Savage City. People should understand what the FBI was doing to The Black Panthers. It's some pretty ugly history that still matters today.

Space Ghost: You remember the difference between the toilet and the sofa, right?

"Piledriver" is my favorite Space Ghost episode. I quote those Macho Man lines as often as possible.

YOU ARE GETTING THE DONALD!!!