However, Vigo tried to battle my boys; that’s not legal.

Whoa, hold on now, baby! I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment!

My mom gasped in horror the first time she heard that line on that episode. Turned out, she thought Mr. Peabody had said "Quiet, Jew!"

Arkansas, some years ago, had an obituary that was much shared because all the euphemisms were food-related: The deceased "answered the dinner bell to the marriage supper of the Lamb"; his parents and grandparents were "saving him a place at the table"; and his surviving family was "hoping they do not have to wait in…

The Wendy’s Twitter account has been capable of sick burns for at least a year, ever since Burger King responded to Wendy's "4 for $4" deal with a "$5 for 4" "5 for $4" deal. Somebody asked Wendy’s “what are you firing back”, and the Twitter account responded, “edible food”.

One of my all-time favorite Spider-Man bits is from The Amazing Spider-Man annual No. 18: Jonah gets married, so Stan Lee got to script. At one point during his fight against the Scorpion, Spidey says something like “I’m on him like gangbusters!”, then a first-person narration box off to the side says, “I’m not…

My dad is a grandpa and he thinks Abby is scary and/or unnerving. And this is from a man who watched every episode of Sons of Anarchy.

Southwest Airlines still serves peanuts, but I'm sure if I were to accidentally ingest one, they'd be really quippy about it:

"I have straight A's, I do all my chores around here, and I'd sooner kill than spend a nickel on Scritti Politti."
—Carol Seaver, "Employee of the Month," Growing Pains

Ha ha! People can be so ignorant!

I was just working on that reply; I've never heard exact figures, but I think the consensus is that he could live comfortably off the monthly royalties from that alone.

One of my favorite jokes from the 1980s is "John Oates and Andrew Ridgeley are forming a pop superduo called 'Yeah Right.'"

I saw Rogue One with my parents last night, and my dad was asking me afterwards if “that guy near the end” was Spock. He clarified later that he KNEW Spock was from a different franchise, but he was quite positive that “the old guy in the cloak” was Leonard Nimoy.

Thanks! (I'm sure I muddled up the actual aired video with the information about the marriage from the "Life of O'Brien" article in a 2001 Details magazine.)

Here's my favorite part about that whole Houston thing, and someone please fill in some details if I've screwed any of this up:

You forgot the "best" part: He rhymes "Kodak" with "Kodak" immediately after he says, "Me not working hard? Yeah, right."

"Lee Mendelson still couldn’t get the TV networks interested in a Schulz documentary."

They tried to rationalize it by having his real name be…sigh Richard Stabone, which led to the obvious reveal about his father:

It’s hard to watch a lot of “Growing Pains” now, knowing the damage the writers did with their constant reliance on “Ha ha, Carol’s fat!” jokes. Having said that — and even knowing that the episode I’m about to cite gets its happy ending from the idea that Donald Trump is a magnanimous philanthropist who's OK without…

In retrospect, the better joke would’ve been just “Speaking of ‘wiggle’: Cara Delevingne.” I was hoping to make it seem like I was saying something so lascivious and below my personal standards that it had to be deleted, and, honestly, I like everyone else’s suggestions of “deleted comments” a lot better.