That's very flattering. Very flattering. Thank you so much for that. You know, my wife's going to get jealous when I tell her you said that, though. Yesterday we were out shopping and I was talking to the shop girl — just asking her where the mens coats are, you understand, because my boss tells me this coat I wear is…

Experimenting with new discussion points…what an idea. That's just great. I love commenting myself, but my wife, she makes it so hard to log into my favorite website. Oh, it's awful. Just a couple weeks ago she changed the format on Newswire articles, made it barely readable. And today I can't even log in with my AV…

Sure, sure. I think I saw that on an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents one time. Well, my wife was watching it, and she told me all about it. She loves that kind of thing, but I don't really enjoy those crime shows, you know. They put me to sleep, I don't know.

Ah, that makes sense, yeah, of course. You're right. What else would it be but sandbags! You'll have to excuse me sir, I'm just on edge because, you know, this case…I'll get out of your hair. I'm sorry, I'm sorry…you're a busy man. I'll just…where did I come in from? This dressing room is magnificent by the way. Oh,…

Now that's a very interesting observation. I couldn't help but notice just then — sandbag. You said sandbag, didn't you? But I'm sure when I told you about the murder, I only said something fell on his head. Yeah, I distinctly remember that I didn't want to bog you down with details, because you were so distraught at…

That appears to be true
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
and oh man is that clip terrible

well apparently there's only $2M worth of that in the world

(mistakes were made, I made a comment here under the wrong ID, my bad, move along, no Columbo to see here)

Ah, you're absolutely right. Absolutely right, and I'm so sorry to have bothered you with this sir. I can see that you're very busy and I'm just going to be on my way.

Of course, I'll get out of your hair, I can see you're very busy here, ah, you've got your gala to go to. I'll just see myself out. Oh, is this the invitation here? Oh, I'm sorry, I spilled coffee all over it, ah, I'll get it, I'll — okay, yeah, I'll just go. Sorry again about — ah — yes.

Ah, thank you very much sir, very much indeed, that's very kind of you.

Ah, would that be this book cover right here sir? Please take a close look.

Ahh, is that from…? The, ah, that picture you were in, oh it's on the tip of my tongue. You know I'm a big fan of your pictures. I really am. My wife always says, you know, when we get a chance to go out to the movies, she says "let's see the new Alex Winter picture." Just wonderful.

I did not mean to post that as Columbo. Thanks, browser.

I'm going to sidestep that particular insane claim by saying that Aliens is more of an action movie than a horror movie, so it doesn't count

Oh, my. That is just fantastic. Nineteen…you make almost twenty thousand a month? Geez, that comes to…twelve months in a year…that's almost a quarter million dollars a year, isn't it? That's just wonderful. I met this guy the other day, he works the stock market — real smart guy — but he doesn't make half that much.…

Excuse me ma'am, I happen to be an Italian-American myself.

That is a really interesting perspective. Just fascinating. And look at that — you've got the most upvotes in here! That's just great. I don't get that many upvotes. My wife says it's because I don't comment on articles until they're half a day old, but you know, I'm a busy man, I've got these murders to solve, ah,…

Ah, of course, that's what I thought you must have meant. Well, that's about all I need, I'll get out of your hair. You're very busy, I can see that. This is a fabulous kitchen you have here by the way. Is that a gas range? Well, I'll get going.

Oh wow, that's a great video you got there. Really good, very unique point of view. I made a video once myself, you know, about how Scott Baio's girlfriend in Zapped! manipulated him so that he'd use his powers of, whaddaya call it… telekinesis! To cause chaos. But that wasn't as good as this, wow. Just terrific.