They're there. "CC" next to the volume control at the bottom right corner of the video.

Wait, what? Most Mexicans are mestizo, i.e., a mix of Spanish and Native American (i.e., came over from Asia via the Bering land-bridge) ancestry.

"I'm proud to be brainwashed. I have a clean brain. You could eat off it." - Gretchen

While we don't have any way of knowing the sex ed history of the woman in the above anecdote, she apparently didn't understand the things that she STILL would have learned even if she did take one of the dreaded "abstinence only" classes, which would make it hard to assign them the blame for her stupidity. Kind of…

In other alcohol-related quotes:
Kimmy: Hey, messy Marvins! No underage drinking on my watch!
Xanthippe's friend: Actually, I have a note from my parents that says if it's over $75 a bottle, it's educational.

I took sex ed classes at a public high school that were considered "abstinence only," yet they still explained how intercourse, STDs, pregnancy and periods work. I'd say it comes down to people on average being unintelligent or intellectually incurious. There are plenty of graduates of "condom on the banana" sex ed…

Caraca, mané! Eu não sabia que tinha brasileiros comentando neste site!

Sorry, but the correct quote was:
"Fifth cousins." (Like FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt, who were referenced just before)
"Unacceptable no matter what."

Don't give Morgan's cousin too much grammatical credit: He calls "will have done very well" the "future pluperfect" when it is really just the future perfect. The future pluperfect (if it were a real thing) would be "will have had done very well," which is nonstandard.

Some constructive criticism: I don't think anyone says "a firework," singular. It's "fireworks." Also, "work" doesn't rhyme with "burst."

*very chic

On rewatch, I've fast-forwarded through almost all Randy scenes.

Sorry! The edit was so quick I didn't think anyone would have detrimentally relied on it. I liked my second idea better because it could also sound like someone talking to an overcooked hash brown.

hash brown ya burnt.

Really? With HIS iron will?

"My cousin Karl crashed his car. And now he's in a coma at the Kendall Clinic."

Can you get it on a tape from the Columbia Record Club?

The plural of "nemesis" is "nemeses" with a long "e" at the end. (ducks objects being thrown)

"No-cook cooking hair make-unders…It's new haircuts, but you can make salads with them."

Sesame Street did it.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…