They’re called Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion, and no, nobody remembers all their names

Rule of Thumb at AV Club: No matter how quickly one comments, they will never make the first Emma Stone joke.

I was actually wondering what kind of Fox News-led boycott the wingnuts would try to mount against this. I mean, they'll grudgingly let their kids watch white-looking Arabs in a cartoon, but having the real thing up there on the screen? What's next, Sharia law on the concession stand?!?

I don't get the Meghan Trainor hate. Her music is no different than that of like 20 other assembly-line pop-starlets, none of whom engender such ridicule.

That's because we are modern-day royalty! Which king or prince would cook their own food, much less buy all the ingredients? Our microwave servants do the work, and our supermarket vassals provide the farming.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

True, but then again, it's probably all relative. To me, "beguilingly simple" is 2 minutes on high. (And no stirring halfway through! What am I, Wolfgang Puck??)

Although they’re not quite as confusing as grown adults who wear Winnie the Pooh sweatshirts

It would've succeeded if not for those meddling kids.

Wow, what a typo in the headline! "It’s Bill Skarsgård is on his way to Castle Rock"??

Can't wait for the new 30-minute prologue where Mary Jane Kelly decides to become a prostitute because Batman rejected her love after a passionate rooftop fling.

Its soundtrack would likely feature a Spin Doctors B-side as well as a soaring Sting ballad that would top the charts for months straight, because that’s how things worked back in the glorious, halcyon, monocultural ’90s.

Actually, it was him and his buddies sitting around watching Spider-Paul's Spider Race.

nate-rape? noofies?

The donkey scene ruined my life.

What? I don't have running sores. I used neosporin.

I don't want to be quite David Miscavige. Is that a thing the kids do now?

Oh god, I wish people would stop ridiculing Tom Cruise already. "Ha ha, he runs funny!" I'm not even a big fan of the guy but the way people pile on is tiresome.

Charisma doesn't excuse a lack of progressive bona fides. He gets a shit-ton of Wall Street money, including some from Jared Kushner's firm, and he has some bad statements and votes on his record—like being one of the few Democrats to vote against allowing people to import cheaper medications from Canada.

I did, but now I can't clean the ceiling.