Your seemingly extensive knowledge of the porn parodies is both concerning and intriguing…

But still not the horse, right?

We're aware. But 'German' works well for common parlance—and internet jokes.

Woah…its all so clear now, man!

Very like organized religion—Disney and other entertainment giants control the access to the mythic archetypes that define our culture and cultural identity, and are therefore the enforcers of our social norms and ideals—a priesthood, almost. Always a very powerful and wealthy caste.

So…Hitler was Catherine the Great?

But Catherine the Great was German. That ok?

Midlife crises sure are the pits, aren't they.

I thought it was The Death of Socrates by Jacques-Louis David.

I refer you to Rule #34.

Also, all other groups of human beings. Except, of course,

It just needed a little Matt Damon.

Robinson Crusoe on Mars is certainly a compelling concept, and the saving grace of the book. If Damon's charm can cancel out the incredible obnoxiousness of the character he's playing, then the movie might just be watchable.

I refute your dismissal of objective reality thusly—

The Martian's greatest strength was its humor? Ah. Well, humor is usually subjective, however, in this case one can objectively state that the protagonist of this book is an overgrown fratboy-shaped void of imagination and wit. The need to be rid of his constant idiotic yammering was the secret reason why my fellow…

If only these videos were narrated by a purple vampire puppet, they would be so much more applicable to daily life.

Pat Andergen.

Old Man Yells At (the) iCloud

Hmm…Taking temperature…checking fluids…nope. Everything's running fine. More superhero shows, please.

No one need take the mere existence of genres they themselves do not enjoy as a personal affront. They exist to entertain the large numbers of people who do enjoy them, not to damage anyone's sensibilities.