But it Costner money at all!

You can take Salem out of the country BUT…

Whenever I hire a hooker, the first thing I make her do is weep on my feet. But I'm not paying extra for nard. That shit is for the tourists.

People THINK Dash Rip Rock's name came from The Flintstones, but it's from The Beverly Hillbillies. BLAMMO. There went the minds of several people.

Or Bart Starr.

Snow way we can let these puns roam freeze…

Hey hey hey hey HEY! I'm shutting down this pun thread right now before it turns into Batman and Robin. Now clear off, the lot of you.

This article is filed under Bravestarr. Just on a whim, I decided to see just how many Bravestarr related articles there are around here.

AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLEATS BEFORE YOU START MARCHING ACROSS THE CARPET! What the FUCK?!?

Listen, Arby's, I don't go around calling your food "hog slop." I've always stuck up for your menu.

Not that I'm fond of calling it "classic rock," but if I ever find the person who coined the term "dad rock," I promise I will curbstomp that little shitcock until the fucking curb is reduced to rubble.

But spring is decorative egg season!

Or smoking black tar.

No, the Ponzi schemers who picked up the name did. The original NatLamp was a comedy juggernaut whose footprints are still visible.

If not a grad, at least a Harvard Lampoon alum, it seems like.

I'm sensing a lot of disrespect for National Lampoon in here. That is surprising and appalling to me. I won't stand for it.

It sounds stupid is what the fuck it sounds like.

Or Merlin the Magic Mouse or Cool Cat bad.

Well, I wouldn't say "soft."

And the award for Best Media Construct goes to…