He even stole his nickname from Milton Berle!

"YES! YES! YES!"

Something Something Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.

HAHAHAHA! This is goddamn gold, from "never said what he said" to "mazel tov." How did none of this silly shit not fall out of Sarah Palin's derp-hole?

Not only did Bela Lugosi not star in any Mummy movies, the original is NOT scary. Not even in a "dated" way.

Is it me, or does it seem like the CMAs are on like five times a year?

PICTURED: Methuselah, circa 2004.

Don't you die on me, rock! DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!

You should taste the chocolate syrup I make with blood. It tastes like blood!

Uh, guys, there have been GWAR comic books for years now. See: Slave Pit Funnies.

Before. That baby is going in the cake.

PICTURED: The long-awaited gritty reboot of "LazyTown."

GOOD

You can't honestly think someone is going to…

It's got Phoebe Cates and one of The Young Ones. How bad can it be?

She doesn't get complaints!

Roku and the Two Strings

"Dad, as intelligence goes up, happiness often goes down. In fact, I made a graph…! I make a lot of graphs."

You didn't have to shit your pants…

These are the things I can do without.