Ask Mötley Crüe if you can borrow one of theirs.

It comes with a limited edition umlaut!

I got an L. A. Guns notification for THIS?

*Phil Ken Sebben*

Any group of people who are starting a three-month tour at Ford Field are in for a stretch of bad luck. This is not superstition, this is a goddamn fact. At least one key performer is either going to retire or waste away on the disabled list.

"Jessie's Girl" is a goddamn good song. Springfield has recorded several decent songs.

Rick Springfield had a secretary named Jesse, and John Stamos had a secretary named Flintstone!

I just read that article on your recommendo.

Dear Rian Johnson.

"You're the guy from the…HAMMMburger train, right?"

I doubt it's any healthier, but there are more flavors and varieties than ever. How could you think they don't make it anymore? It takes up half a damn grocery aisle!

My face is all swollen like I've got the mumps
And it strongly resembles Quaker oatmeal clumps
But I'm still rich and famous unlike all you chumps
I'm Gerard Depardieu and I'm the King of Lumps

I'm not sure. We should ask Jeeves.

Paging Mr. Threepwood…

Middleditch, Cumberbatch. Cumberbatch, Middleditch.

I don't like sand snakes. They're coarse and rough and irritating and they get everywhere.

I love the stuff! I've been known to use turkey, too. Depending on the flavor, I might even substitute fresh sausage. I'm breakin' the RULES, man.

I have. It is.

Shun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-nun-knees!

Not quite as gritty as the books. It's Bosch Light.