Not-serious answer: she was really, really bad luck, like Schleprock.

BOTH pictures are small!!

I'm not your Pally, Buddy!

You've gotta be careful with those 1770s chicks, man. They've never heard of, like, Vagisil or anything.

Hmmm, if Mr. Jinx is the announcer, it's "Meester and Meeces."

I love movies, but I don't go to the theatre but maybe twice a year. The nearest cinema is all the way out in the 'burbs (I don't have a car), and there really aren't many flicks I feel like I just HAVE to see on the big screen. I don't mind waiting the five or six months for DVD.

It reminds me of the line from Ruthless People — "I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!"

"Yeah, a womp rat ate my stash, man…had to, like, follow him around with a baggie for three days, man…"

Where does Diahann Carroll fit into all this?

If ya can't beat 'em, petroleum!

Cloverzookie?

These puns are pretty slick.

He has her trapped in that bunker because she wouldn't MARK IT ZERO

I'm picturing Chewie with a crew-cut. Like, an all-over one.

Vigoda WAS Bowie. I was as shocked as you.

"The little woman don't wanna come to me. Then I'll come to YOU people to lay out the truth. I am ranked Number One. ONE! That means I'm the best! But this bum been takin' the easy matches, fightin' other bums, layin' in a coffin. I'm tellin' you and everybody here, I'ma fight her anywhere, anytime, for NOTHIN'."

So did David Bowie. It was in the paper.

FACT: Reagan forgot to attend his own funeral.

LOL Obama Just Says No

Honestly, I haven't been to the Chicago Theatre since Jon Stewart headlined there.