There's always room for Jell-a!

This is not bad news for this particular project. Unless Pudi is just playing Abed again. In which case, well…..

*farts*

PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS etc. etc. ad infinium ad astra ad tallywhacker

HA HA! You can't fool me. That movie had no direction.

Hey, Rooney, did you get paid?

Have you seen "Good Morning, America" lately? You're being generous.

When you're right, you're right. Edited with apologies for angry, impulsive content.

"Tomorrow on 'Good Morning, America,' BREAKING NEWS!!"

"Weeks?" It just seems that way.

Their "names" were never the objective.

What, you wanna Oscah? I'LL GIVE YA A FUCKIN' OSCAH!!

So, back around 1999ish, I was able to get Mitch on the phone for an interview with a "wacky morning radio" duo I was producing. I considered this to be a real triumph. "MITCH HEDBERG IS ON THE SHOW TODAY," I trumpeted.

Waitaminnit, waitaminnit. Hold up. We're letting women win Oscars now? Next thing ya know, we'll be letting them vote.

The moral of the story: hire a hooker.

R. Kelly to direct A Tinkle in Rhyme

Give this man some water!

I am, to this day, incapable of pronouncing the word any other way.

What does Arte Johnson think about this news?

I'll ask my friend Ke-Dollar-Ha.