Get to work, internet, this needs to be mashed up with Behind The Candelabra and those movies that tell stories about toys.

You don't have to shout, Joey, I'm all around you.

WIKKID PISSED ABOUT THIS ARTICLE SAYING BAHSTON PEOPLE ARE THA PEHFECT FADDAH: MY DAD IS THE PEHFECT FADDAH!

*Decides it's time to kill Mama*

It's… a coffee table book.

I'm seeing double! Zero downsides!

I think we all agree that whether it's Peter Parker or Miles Morales or whoever else they may choose that the color of their skin doesn't matter. But their name better be fucking alliterative.

That's one of my favorites.

Time flies, you fools!

It's great. The fact that he's a giant baby that can kick your ass makes him really compelling and horrific.

Exactly! And when that guy kills himself instead of going on the run? Holy shit!

Holy shit, how good is this Daredevil show? I thought it would be garbage but I thought wrong. It's way better than garbage. The Kingpin is emotionally vulnerable and weird and creepy as shit and they frame shots of him so that his head looks enormous.

Not bad, but when will the internet do its great job and mash the Dark Tower up with Harry Potter or The Big Lebowski or something? NOW GET THA FAHCK OUTA SOUTHIE!

I was being snide. But if you seriously want to explain this the dude is like hundreds or thousands of years old, so as he picked up new languages and spent time with different cultures his accent would change over time until he sounded something like Christopher Lambert in Highlander.

The good kind of chameleon? Mit schlag?

You can't really shoot this in Hawaii. Much of the first book takes place in a desert. Which is not something you eat. Neither deserts nor books are things you eat.

Screw Mickelson, Bronson Pinchot is due for a comeback.

It would be really difficult to explain why a dude from an alternate reality would have an accent.

Accurate. I'll take this shame and try to better myself with it.

Chinese? Surely you jest.