The Burlap Jimmy Hats

PRAHBABLY SOME HOMO'S FINGAH!

Existence confirmed. They also have a, uh, winged model for those interested in masturbating with a simulated vampire vagina.

I actually had a doctor whistle that tune while he was performing his doctorly duties down in my basement. It didn't seem funny at the time, but I guess I can let loose about it now.

I know, I just wish all you yankees were dead.

Look at how he's dressed; of course he wants us to!

What does it say? "Oh, for the love of God, don't put me in there!"?

Sometimes dead is bettah.

Until you realize that it's not worth it when you have pronounce the word "Avengers" using that tricky "A" with the arrow.

Kiwis are genetically incapable of being hipsters. They're like Newfies in that way.

Yeah, you've got a point. But then again mixing religion with criminal justice and using spiritual beliefs to justify deadly force has taken many more lives than making shitty comments on the internet has.

He was probably just punishing her for her sins. Glory be!

I read that it's typically cheaper to incarcerate someone for life than to give them the death penalty. Maybe not in TX, though.

Yeah, but he thought they were going to kill him. Isn't it his right to defend himself using deadly force? I guess that only works if the dead guys were black.

Maybe so, but how do you know that you could do anything other than not decide? Isn't it all kind of preordained by circumstance, which isn't circumstantial so much as it is preordained by every single event that preceded it?

It's God's will that you don't understand how it all works. If you choose to believe in free will, it's only because God allows you to do so.

Please, God, smite down your creation, CC Baxter, and make it very very painful. Amen.

But your emotions are so cute and miniature.

Make certain to harvest his marrow when you're done.

You really can't appreciate the stink-muting effects of submersion in water until you encounter a land log.