These are not the puns we're looking for. Seriously, they're just quotes and references.

Baby my name is not. Janet, it is; Miss Jackson if nasty you are.

But don't knock the door there. The guy who lives there is very insistent about who it is that does the knocking.

Making comments ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise phrasing and punctuation we could seem like MRAs or come too close to criticizing Lena Dunham, and that'd get your account banned real quick, wouldn't it?

Magical space herpes.

Pole Pols pooh Pooh's poleless poses.

If you like chewbacca-ladas and getting caught in the rain…

That's that New Testament bullshit. You know, the one about Jesus' divinity and love. It's totally for fags.

You want to burn someone alive? You really are a Christian!

Boob Scotch

Whoa!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Ass & Titties

I regret to say that I don't speak French.

Hey, if O'Neal didn't want us to repeat his jokes in the comments he wouldn't have published them like that.

It's also inconvenient having those fucking periods strewn between the letters.

Hot dogs are for closers!

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Can openers are for crybabies!

Duh. Are you not?