Remember the true message: to be truly happy and successful one or more of your parents have to die.

Wasn't that Betsy DeVos who said, then rephrased, that particular bon mott? More than one crazy lady in WH so it's easy to confuse them through a red haze.

I'm used to Presidents blaming the media elite for fuck ups. Warren clearly said Moonlight. Cuck snowflake.

The cucks on the other foot now!

You can start with Malcomb County here in Michigan. I've decided to blame them for Michigan going for Trump. Fire at will!

They all feel emboldened by the recent election. Silent majority no more.

He likes people named Kushner, too. He even let one borrow his best daughter.

Is that your flagellum or are you glad to see me?

What's in the mystery box!?! Gahhh, what's in the fucking mystery box?

Seems like brand synergy to me!
-Disney exec

Glad to see the blank check, to be awful, Trump seemed to give everybody, isn't legal tender everywhere. Everyone keeps saying they voted Trump for jobs but scratch the surface…

Lets just say it was a crime of passion and not dwell on the details.

Trumpster-fire referred to the "silent majority" throughout the campaign. Blah blah blah. Then I get to hear calm white dudes on the news saying hateful racist things. And guys punching Uber drivers while yelling Trump. Plus, Hillary sells children out of a pizza place (minor!, minor!), they say, all over the…

Reading a book? That's anti-Trump.

"I'm going to build a Death Star. It's gonna be huge. People are going to say "that's no moon, it's a space station." I'm going to build that moon and Alderaan is going to pay for it!"

The Emperor was just trying to make the galaxy great again.

Can we tell Trumpsters that Hatchimals are anti-Trump? I'd rather not have to keep looking for them for my daughters?

There's so much bullshit on Facebook, I'm not sure if that's me in my profile picture.

Maybe I take in too much caffeine, but Iron and Wine's version of "Such Great Heights" has always been my favorite. I heard that version first and find the rhythm less…well, less.

I still consider Celine the State Bird of Canada. Why sing one note when five will do?