I've never heard a Canadian say a bad word about Connecticut and Vermont. They love those states! And as for Maine…
…
Anyway, they love Connecticut and Vermont.

Canada doesn't really do civil wars. The Beaver Wars and the Acadian Civil War don't count.

Oh, it gets worse.

You say that like it means anything anymore.

Welcome to the worst of all universes.

You think this is as low as it can go? Just wait. The next step for the GOP is electing Cartman.

Okay, we peel off the New England states. They can join Canada, since they're basically Canadian anyway. California and New York can become independent countries. But Oregon… I'm so sorry, but there's nothing we can do for you.

Okay, this one is NOT my fault. Kid Rock fans have always been like this.

You're right. It's still a bad idea.

Yeah. Unless it goes the Inglorious Basterds route and has Sharon Tate shoot Manson in the face with a submachine gun.

I'm not enthusiastic. I already know the story and it is unpleasant.

Remember, the unit which measures conductivity is called a 'Sieman'.
It's true!

…I do not understand conversion units as well as I thought I did.

Well, alchemy morphed into chemistry, and prayer morphed into faith healing. So really, spells turned out to be far less stupid.

Upvoted for correct arcane etiquette.

Jesus, please, no! I already have a job!

I can answer if you first convert pagan inches into amperes.

More like Tyre Fyre!

Wait, the band doesn't have 182 members?

Dammit, Skiba! Trump was elected and YOU DID NOTHING!