Ahh, if there's one thing I appreciate, it's clever wordplay. You have this comment thread locked up, my friend.

I don't believe the two realities are so closely related. It appears to be more of a general inversion of known quantities.

In my reality Ivanka is a spokesperson for UNICEF. We couldn't be more proud.

Can I just take this opportunity to reiterate my condemnation of Steve King's odious remarks on race? Let me be clear and unequivocal: there is no justification for such bigotry among elected officials, and I can in no way support, either tacitly or explicitly, any representative who holds such deeply unamerican…

…
Dear Lord.

Please calm down, Greg. You undermine your position by resorting to hyperbolic outrage.

Although CNN has its flaws, it flourishes in any comparison with FOX News. I'm afraid that the poor reporting and ideological bias at FOX is well-documented. May I respectfully suggest that you expand, rather than restrict, your viewing habits regarding the news?

…Greg, you're talking to yourself again. Please tell me you're still on your medication.

It is wrong to attack news services with such sweeping generalizations. And you should try to accept the fact that some stories are credible regardless of whether you would prefer them to be.

You diminish both yourself and the cause you defend when you stoop to name-calling. We should try to reach people we disagree with, not disparage them.

If Sean Hannity and the other witnesses to this incident dispute the account, what more needs to be said? The reputation for accuracy and honesty among the good people of FOX News is unimpeachable.

'Disputed' does not mean the same thing as 'disproven'.

Sometimes a gun is just a gun, and an alternate universe Trump is just an overly literal AV Club commenter.

Gun ownership means accepting risk. It really should only be undertaken by highly responsible individuals who have received comprehensive training.

They seem to be deeply unhappy people with little or no self-awareness, doomed to humiliate themselves over and over without realizing due to their ignorance.

True masculinity is defined by compassion, cooperation and generosity, not trivial physical characteristics or the ability to inflict injury.

…unloaded and safely secured in a locked cabinet or safe.

That poor, sad, confused man who shot himself in front of his child trying to demonstrate that a gun cannot fire when the safety is on.

He needs something to press into his temple as he sits hunched in his bathroom, tears streaming down his face.

You know, it doesn't really seem like Hannity is part of a "well-regulated militia".