Frothy is a compliment around these parts, son.

Aw, Mike! Come back, Mike! We didn't mean it! Mike! Damn, I think he's really gone. He entered our lives, touched no-one and then just left.

The man likes his catsup, folks.

Nice.

It's not considered something adults generally do, and so we'll run with it.

"I hope you like burnt steaks and sh*tty scotch!"

Marry me.

Nnno, it's vitally important that we mock this unqualified dangerous nitwit at every opportunity. Catsup on steak is perfectly good fodder. I mean, not literally good fodder, fodder for mockery. If it were good fodder, we wouldn't be able to mock it.

There it is!

He spits on it as he talks.

Now hold on there. It wasn't catsup on a hot dog. Wait, was it? Has he had catsup on a hot dog? DID THAT SON OF A BITCH HAVE CATSUP ON A HOT DOG?!?

"Yesss, yesss, I'm going to post another post about how the AV Club picks on Trump… Ohhh God yeah, gonna be as sarcastic as possible… writing now… Almost done… gonna hit post now… CLICK! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSSSSS."

The AV Club transformed into a pop entertainment site so gradually from hard news, I didn't even notice. Hey wait, we've never been a news site! What are you on about, NWR?

New around here, huh?

Look, this is a good outlet for our frustrations that almost half the electorate is ignorant enough to put this dummy in the White House. Would you rather we reassemble our Bolshevik action committees?

Keep trying. Maybe some of us are redeemable and will grow up to mock wellfare moms and east-coast latte-drinkers instead of astonishingly corrupt, dull-witted presidents.

Ha ha! It's the bit from Guy From Harlem, the Rifftrax joke! When Al orders a New York strip steak well done! That's an amazing reference!

Ding-ding-ding-ding.

…

Um… I think you meant to say, 'rock-hard, glistening' bodies.