Nah, O'Neal ate some mold from under the house when he was a toddler or last week or whatever.

Hey now, what did dickbags do to deserve that comparison?

Oh, did you swing a dead cat in here?

You think you're being calm, but to us it reads like Hal Incandenza in the first chapter of Infinite Jest.

Yeah, people always tell him "Uruk like a pubescent lesbian".

No, he was singing Baby Baby. Easy mistake.

Never forget.

The Jam - To Be Someone (Didn't We Have a Nice Time?)
Company Flow - Collude / Intrude
Mogwai - Yes! I Am a Long Way From Home
Mac Demarco - Ode to Viceroy
Prefuse 73 - Point to B
Iron & Wine - Freedom Hangs Like Heaven

I thought George Martin was the fifth Ninja Turtle. Or at the very least, Stu Sutcliffe

I always remember the Major League trailer and the following exchange:

I was blocking the existence of football just fine until now. Thanks a bunch.

We are. We all are. And I am your king.

Reminds me of the Informant.

To be fair, the world they want to end isn't the physical planet, but rather a system of things ruled by Satan. They want it to happen because it will mean God will restore his rule over the planet, turning it back into the Paradise it was originally envisioned to be in the process. Sounds a bit nicer than "I can't…

I'm stuck in Saginaw prison / in boring black & white

Can someone bring me an aspirin and a gag for rlene's mouth please?

I'm one of those people but I'm trying to do better.

I've been fired from Subway. People get fired from Subway.

Why do you think I want to be rich so badly? Besides the obvious.

Pasty and rich is actually at the top.