My son, Antichrist, only watches Youtube videos of the *blank* react to *blank* variety.

The Man Who Got Abducted By Aliens And Then Kills All The Aliens But In a Surprise Twist It Turns Out All The Aliens Were Our World Leaders Because We Are Being Slowly Taken Over By Lizard People

Like beaver pelts and stuff?

The tissues stacked on top of each other can reach the moon and back three times!

How embarrassing. He wore the same turtle costume as Mitch McConnell!

I grew up in a small Wisconsin town and only knew one black kid until my family moved us when I was ten. He was extremely popular due to him being the only kid with a complete set of Voltron toys who was willing to let others play with them. I've often wondered if that kid had been a jerk instead of being so…

"Shh! We're trying to watch The Bachelor over here!" -The sheep

I agree that seeing her was powerful, I just feel that could have been achieved just as effectively without having to see the CGI mask try to emote.

They say a dream takes only a second or so, and yet in that second a man can live a lifetime. He can suffer and die, and who's to say which is the greater reality: the one we know or the one in dreams, between heaven, the sky, the earth - in the Twilight Zone.

My soul is worthless and stained with the murder of countless nuggs!

The guy from the kumite?

My issue with Rogue One is the issue I have with a lot of CGI. It should be used to enhance, not put front and center. CGI-Tarkin could have been fantastic if it was used sparingly. Shoot most of his scenes from behind as he stares out of the window into space, or as holographic conversations. Likewise, there was…

I guess the big advantage of having pretend children is you never have to say their name out loud and realize how stupid it sounds.

Now is the time when the real heroes must rise to the occasion! Anybody seen Paris Hilton lately?

Yes, but you may have to slowly loofah His back and not be so stingy with the handys.

Me: "Hello. I'm here to reply to apples comment."

That 9'4" measurement was taken when the wind blew his hair up.

I went from "I'll be damned if I'm gunna pay extra for something they should be doing anyways" to "this is the best 4 bucks a month I've ever spent".

That's not true! Corporations are basically individuals now and enjoy many of the same rights. Like freedom of speech!

"I guess we could try to sell him sports drinks. He's gotta be dehydrated by now…."