I have to work all night, but I'm pretty sure this is the one night I'm legally allowed to drink at work. HR better back the hell off this time..

One million TGIFriday's patrons can't be wrong.

It's insane, this guy's thaint.

It's simply your imagination. Now let's all go back to our Newswires and try not to think too much about the terrifying consequences of the pork council's hostile takeover of all media.

I missed my opportunity when I bought those gamy meatballs.

Willie doesn't need your charity. He is busy starring in the hotly anticipated sequel Corinthians 2.

I always thought the way to go with video game movies was to tell stories set in the same environment of the games. Like a Deus Ex sidestory without ever seeing Adam Jensen. Or an adventure some ancillary character from Half-Life goes on. That way you don't have to struggle with cramming 20 hours of story into 2…

Me too! I also beat E.T. for the 2600 around the same time and loved it.
(I was desperate for any and all video games back then.)

This is a tough one, but I'll give it a go…

The way that trumpet player keeps looking at me makes me think he's gunna punch me.

That can't be real.

Pee works too…….as long as you're not friends with the kid.

"Finally, it looks like someone ordered me one plain cheese family…."

CGT: Miami - Sunburned Units Unit

The alcohol-soaked corpses can be burned for fuel! It's win-win!

Someone needs to tell Mike Pence about the secret homosexual messages in rock music! We need to send Nic Cage on a suicide mission to warn the VP before they convert him on live national tv!

How dare you call Trump a fascist! Take it back or you'll soon learn your lesson in one of our new death camps!

Don't worry. One of them will be rewarded with a more than generous prenup once they are old enough for Trump to marry.

What is up with people's fascination with forbidden beautiful breasts and majestic awe-inspiring dragons?

*Looks over HBO schedule*